A Long and Wordy Post About Nothing

I am fully in "fake it till you make it" mode here.  In nearly every aspect of my life.

As a mother?  Fakin' it.  My kids think I know what I'm doing.  (I hope)  But really, nearly 80% of the time that I actually listen to myself, I think, "really???  you are the adult here??  wow."  

In my goals of weight loss?  yeah, fakin' it.  But in that regard, I'm not even faking it well.  It's more like I'm faking that I'm trying... 

In my creative endeavors?  I'm a total fraud.  People think I'm so creative, but really, I'm just a good copier.  I don't think I have one original idea in my head.

I'm going to be really honest here and admit that I know people think I am this really spiritual person.  And to a degree, I think that's fairly true (in that I feel like I am pretty sensitive to the Spirit).  But that doesn't mean that I am doing all of the simplest of things that we are counselled and even commanded to do.  Scriptures?  only if I remember.  Prayer?  sometimes.  Family Home Evening?  not so much...  

I'm not totally what I may appear to be from the outside.  Except catty.  I am that. :)

Truth be told, I am feeling a little lost.  Lost might not be the right word.  Directionless might be a better way of describing how I feel right now.  

I mean, I honestly DO love my life.  I have an amazing husband.  Fan-TAS-tic kids - except for when they are told that dinner is spaghetti...  but I digress...  And I feel like I sound ungrateful or unhappy.  I'm not.  At all.  (except for when I am)

I guess the point of all of this rambling is a feeble attempt at trying to figure out what I want.  For my life.  For this blog.  

A friend of mine shared an idea that I think may help me on my way to figuring things out.  Her friend sets goals on her birthday.  As many goals as she is years old.  For example, this year that would mean I will set 37 (?!?!) goals that I would try to accomplish by my next birthday.  They can be big or small.  And trust me, lots of mine will be small.  But I think this might be a great way to pinpoint some areas where I am feeling unfulfilled.

So, stay tuned for some future posts about some of these 37 goals.

Also, as soon as I can get my dumb camera to let me upload the pictures from it, I have lots of projects done and some in the works.

I will try to be much better about posting more often.