Last week I talked about trying lots of new things this year and not panicking about finding "my thing". So, true to my word, I tried some new stuff last week!
I did Zumba twice! Totally out of my comfort zone. My cute friend read my body language and was so sweet to reach out and reassure me that I would be fine... And I was. I didn't die as much as I thought I would, and I managed to have a good time!
On Tuesday I saw a thing on Facebook about a blogging webinar that would help teach how to make money with your blog. I impulsively signed up, thinking that - hey, making some money through a my blog would be pretty cool. I was really nervous as the time came close for the event to start, and I knew it was because I am not even close to being able to monetize my blog. And I was afraid to feel overwhelmed by the idea of what it would take to grow it into something. Anyway, it was completely overwhelming to me, and I was so discouraged!
But then I thought a lot about what I even wanted my blog to be. Do I want to narrow my voice to a very specific topic in order to grow? Do I really care about making money from this blog?
I was feeling a lot of inner turmoil about what I "should" be doing, so I forced myself to do some rational thinking about it.
I came up with this:
And once I wrote it out like that, peace settled over me, and I could let the pressure of someone else's expectations or definition of success go. Which felt great.
Then, on Saturday, I went to a photography workshop. All day, and all by myself (meaning I didn't know anyone else there!). I had wanted to do one for a while, and even though I was nervous about going alone, I did it! And I learned a lot. About photography, yes, but also about myself and my capacity to do things that are new and scary.
Because new and scary nearly always go together for me. I'm sure that's true for many people.
I am definitely a creature of comfort and attempting things outside of my comfort zone immediately puts me into retreat/flee mode. My typical Behavior is to avoid doing ANYTHING in which I might fail or look ridiculous. And this week, looking ridiculous was definitely happening (Zumba, I'm looking at you) but it didn't kill me! Going somewhere like this workshop - alone - normally would not have happened. I would have signed up, but then changed my mind and cancelled my spot ( I know this, because last time one of these workshops was offered, that's exactly what I did). So I know I'm getting a little braver.
I think that courage must be a side-effect of hummingbirding.
And with each new experience that I try, I will gain more and more courage - and that is something to be excited about.
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