Well, so one week in, and things are going strong around here. Beds being made, scriptures being read... I'm unstoppable!
I am not usually one who is great at following through on "goals". So even making it one week on some of these things is HUGE. My defined goals are not anything that is a big deal, but I know that as each little thing happens, I am rewriting my narrative just a bit.
You know, the one that goes something like this, "I'm a failure. I quit everything. I never follow through. I am weak. I am lazy. And anything good that I am doesn't count because on top of all of the other stuff, I am fat."
You guys. I'm 42. I don't know why I am still battling these demons. Why, when I know that I am a daughter of God, do I still allow my value to be measured in ways that the world determines?
Last year I finally really gave up "dieting". I had to. It was destroying me. I read "intuitive eating," and many other books about the anti-dieting movement, and I was able to get to a much better place mentally -- it ended the constant cycle of depression, despair, desperation, hope, investment, deprivation, *failure*, and repeat. I didn't really gain weight when I quit dieting, but I definitely didn't lose any either. And now here we are at the start of a new year, where we are bombarded from all sides with diet ads, friends with ambitious weight loss goals/plans/success - and the temptation is so strong to jump back into it. I guess I just needed to write this out in order to talk myself out of it. I do want to lose weight. I do. But what I REALLY want is the confidence that I tell myself would come attached to the skinnier me.
But maybe I'm coming at it from the wrong angle. What if I have it backwards?! Could it be possible that if I continue to achieve these small victories in non-weight related areas of my life, I will by default fill my life and overcome the "eating my feelings" habit?
Each success I have - every day that I make my bed, every time that I pick up my scriptures by myself, every time I kneel in prayer, or every time I gather my family around to read the Book of Mormon I have a moment where I can challenge that old narrative and that superficial measure of value.
I don't expect my life to change overnight, but I intend to continue in these daily habits, and I will extend myself grace when needed. Perfection is not expected, nor required. Progress is the goal.
"...therefore they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day.
Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works. They were slothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence and then those marvelous works ceased, and they did not progress in their journey;" Alma 37:40-41 {book of mormon}
I think I'll go ahead and test this theory.
and in case you (or I) need another reminder: When Satan Tells You You're Ugly
I am not usually one who is great at following through on "goals". So even making it one week on some of these things is HUGE. My defined goals are not anything that is a big deal, but I know that as each little thing happens, I am rewriting my narrative just a bit.
You know, the one that goes something like this, "I'm a failure. I quit everything. I never follow through. I am weak. I am lazy. And anything good that I am doesn't count because on top of all of the other stuff, I am fat."
You guys. I'm 42. I don't know why I am still battling these demons. Why, when I know that I am a daughter of God, do I still allow my value to be measured in ways that the world determines?
Last year I finally really gave up "dieting". I had to. It was destroying me. I read "intuitive eating," and many other books about the anti-dieting movement, and I was able to get to a much better place mentally -- it ended the constant cycle of depression, despair, desperation, hope, investment, deprivation, *failure*, and repeat. I didn't really gain weight when I quit dieting, but I definitely didn't lose any either. And now here we are at the start of a new year, where we are bombarded from all sides with diet ads, friends with ambitious weight loss goals/plans/success - and the temptation is so strong to jump back into it. I guess I just needed to write this out in order to talk myself out of it. I do want to lose weight. I do. But what I REALLY want is the confidence that I tell myself would come attached to the skinnier me.
But maybe I'm coming at it from the wrong angle. What if I have it backwards?! Could it be possible that if I continue to achieve these small victories in non-weight related areas of my life, I will by default fill my life and overcome the "eating my feelings" habit?
Each success I have - every day that I make my bed, every time that I pick up my scriptures by myself, every time I kneel in prayer, or every time I gather my family around to read the Book of Mormon I have a moment where I can challenge that old narrative and that superficial measure of value.
I don't expect my life to change overnight, but I intend to continue in these daily habits, and I will extend myself grace when needed. Perfection is not expected, nor required. Progress is the goal.
"...therefore they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day.
Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works. They were slothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence and then those marvelous works ceased, and they did not progress in their journey;" Alma 37:40-41 {book of mormon}
I think I'll go ahead and test this theory.
and in case you (or I) need another reminder: When Satan Tells You You're Ugly
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