So here goes. A brand new year.
Does anyone else feel a overwhelmed by the idea of it all? All of the resolutions, the improvements, the goals, the changes......
I'll be honest. The last few days leading up to new year's eve, I was all in. I was wrestling with my "one little word", setting goals left and right, and basically feeling like I was going to kick 2016's butt! And then I woke up this morning. Late morning because I had stayed up until midnight. And the first thing into my mouth was a small handful of chewy sprees. Because they were there. Open. On the kitchen counter. I had a small internal chuckle about that because - come on. Candy for breakfast. My first acts of 2016 are to wake up late and eat candy.
Then of course I check my social media, and see so many beautiful and inspiring posts about the new year, and part of me was saying, "YES!" -- but another, smaller but insistent part of me was staying silent and I still can't define the feelings I had. But they were not encouraging, and I felt like I was defeated before I even began. Especially given the start of my day.
But the day marches on, and I decided to finish taking down Christmas, and get started on cleaning up the downstairs office since it had been neglected for far too long. Hours later, I picked up my phone again, and saw this beautiful post my friend shared on facebook via a site called Momastery.
....this
Does anyone else feel a overwhelmed by the idea of it all? All of the resolutions, the improvements, the goals, the changes......
I'll be honest. The last few days leading up to new year's eve, I was all in. I was wrestling with my "one little word", setting goals left and right, and basically feeling like I was going to kick 2016's butt! And then I woke up this morning. Late morning because I had stayed up until midnight. And the first thing into my mouth was a small handful of chewy sprees. Because they were there. Open. On the kitchen counter. I had a small internal chuckle about that because - come on. Candy for breakfast. My first acts of 2016 are to wake up late and eat candy.
Then of course I check my social media, and see so many beautiful and inspiring posts about the new year, and part of me was saying, "YES!" -- but another, smaller but insistent part of me was staying silent and I still can't define the feelings I had. But they were not encouraging, and I felt like I was defeated before I even began. Especially given the start of my day.
But the day marches on, and I decided to finish taking down Christmas, and get started on cleaning up the downstairs office since it had been neglected for far too long. Hours later, I picked up my phone again, and saw this beautiful post my friend shared on facebook via a site called Momastery.
....this
"I don’t want a new, better life in 2016. I just want new eyes to see that my life is already staggeringly beautiful.
I don’t want to be a better mom in 2016. I just want new eyes to see that the miracle is not good better best — the miracle is that these people are mine and I am theirs. Full stop.
And I don’t want to be a BETTER ME in 2016. Screw that. I don’t want to chase after some imaginary more fabulous version of myself. I AM what the people I love need. I already AM. And when we are always BECOMING we have no room to BE. So I’m done striving. I’m fine, thanks. I’m showing up to love my people and you and the world this year JUST AS I AM.
Don't try to be better. Just notice that it's all good enough already."
And trust me, I don't for a minute think that I don't have room for improvement or growth - I just love this quote because it lets me believe that I really AM good enough right now. That just because I DO have areas to work on, doesn't mean that I'm not already acceptable. Especially if I put it into context with what I believe about my Savior. I am already acceptable to Him, loved by Him. He knows I'm far from my potential, but He also knows my heart, and He wants me to love myself.
So, as I consider this beautiful life, with my beautiful people... My one little word for 2016 is "BE"
Be engaged
Be kind
Be loved and loving
Be there
Be still
Be brave
My heart feels lighter than it did this morning, and I feel infinitely more hopeful. My word means that I already am enough, now I just have to BE it. I don't even know if my words make sense to you as you read them, I hope you can feel what I mean though. And I hope that no matter what your word is, or what your goals are, you know that you are already enough. You already deserve to be happy and you already deserve to love yourself and to be loved by others.
Any goals met or changes made are just going to be icing on an already wonderful cake!
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