Panic Mode

Today marks the end of the first 1/2 week of school.  So far, so good.   No pre school vomiting, minimal anxiety attacks, few tears, and the kids are doing great too!  haha

In all seriousness, though, they are doing well.  I was all geared up for massive drama, but it's all been very low-key anxiety so far.   Meg and Max are hanging tough as they find their footing and rhythm, and Sophie is loving her class so far.

It was strange to only have 3 kids to take the "first day photo" of, and REALLY strange to think that my youngest is now in 4th grade, and will very soon be 10 years old.   Sometimes I think about the changes that will be happening in our family while Bryson is on his mission, and I can't even breathe.  Megan out of high school, Max with a drivers permit, and Sophie in young women's!?  It boggles the mind.

Meanwhile, we are going crazy with trying to get ready for all of the events surrounding Bryson leaving - we had an unexpected opportunity to have some concrete poured, and it led to a sudden decision to go ahead with an entire yard makeover.   All of the "grass" has been torn up, and new sprinklers laid - now we just have to prep the ground for sod (which comes next wednesday!)...

It's an extremely inconvenient time for me to throw out my back!!! 

I was working on lowering a sprinkler line, and I must have turned wrong or something, because suddenly I couldn't move.  I could barely breathe for a minute - it hurt so bad.  I managed to get to my feet and hobble in, but the rest of yesterday, and so far today, I'm fairly useless.  No bueno.

I am just going to have to trust that somehow, John will find some time (and his body will hold out) and that we can still get this thing done.  It's all very frustrating to say the least.  And I'm desperately trying not to panic.

Going off topic here for a second, but can I just say how much I despise cooking??  I really do!  I hate the planning, prep, and cleaning up of it all!  Mostly the planning.  Summer threw me WAY off this year,  like no rules/schedule/plan/chores/structure, and I am feeling completely overwhelmed by the idea of getting reorganized.   Especially since (if I'm being honest), I've never really been very good at that aspect of motherhood to begin with!  And cooking - that's the worst part. 

ok, rant over.

Maybe you can tell that I'm feeling more than a little frantic about life right now?  So many changes. So many ways that I need to get my crap together.  

Deep breath in...

....and out...

wish us luck!