I've mentioned before that I have been trying hard to change many things in my head in order to find peace with who I am... It hasn't been a simple thing to change decades of negative self-talk into messages of self-acceptance. And there are days where I find myself consumed by the voices of cruelty - but thankfully they are becoming fewer and farther between.
What a lovely thing it has been to have moments where the thoughts in my head are still and kind.
I have read books and articles and watched documentaries and inspirational speakers - and I have come to believe that we cannot wait to feel like we have acheived "success" or "the goal" before we treat ourselves with exquisite kindness. We will be able to perpetuate success, or more easily reach the goal when we believe that we are worth it.
I can't tell you how often I have told myself that I will get that massage "when I lose the weight". I will care about my appearance, "after I reach my goal". I will try yoga "when I'm thinner." But that way of thinking has only cemented the idea in my brain that I don't deserve any of those things until I earn it by losing weight. Which then cycles around to the idea that if I don't deserve to do any of the things I want until I lose weight, then I don't deserve to lose weight - and why try?
Once I started to embrace the idea that I deserve kindness now, in this body, with this personality, I began to notice a change in my behavior - which is leading to all of the things I've been dreaming about. And it also gives me confidence that the possibilities are endless.
I have so much to learn about these concepts, and so much work to do in implementing them - but I am grateful for the progress that has occurred so far, and for the peace that has finally started to settle in my mind and heart.
What a lovely thing it has been to have moments where the thoughts in my head are still and kind.
I have read books and articles and watched documentaries and inspirational speakers - and I have come to believe that we cannot wait to feel like we have acheived "success" or "the goal" before we treat ourselves with exquisite kindness. We will be able to perpetuate success, or more easily reach the goal when we believe that we are worth it.
I can't tell you how often I have told myself that I will get that massage "when I lose the weight". I will care about my appearance, "after I reach my goal". I will try yoga "when I'm thinner." But that way of thinking has only cemented the idea in my brain that I don't deserve any of those things until I earn it by losing weight. Which then cycles around to the idea that if I don't deserve to do any of the things I want until I lose weight, then I don't deserve to lose weight - and why try?
Once I started to embrace the idea that I deserve kindness now, in this body, with this personality, I began to notice a change in my behavior - which is leading to all of the things I've been dreaming about. And it also gives me confidence that the possibilities are endless.
I have so much to learn about these concepts, and so much work to do in implementing them - but I am grateful for the progress that has occurred so far, and for the peace that has finally started to settle in my mind and heart.
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