...in the way that teenaged boys say "That's so sick!" ...since "sweet" sixteen is for girls...
So, sixteen years ago I had this baby. He was perfect, and beautiful, and sweet. He smiled with his eyes, so even when he had his binky in, I knew when he was happy. And he was almost always happy. He was mellow, and smiley - and I thought, "if this is what boys are like, I will take 5, please."
That silver-white haired little baby is grown up now. He is not quite perfect, he is more handsome than beautiful, but he is still amazingly sweet. He still smiles with those blue eyes, and he is still happy more often than not.
This morning, as we were headed to school, I just kept thinking how this is it. This day is the threshold of his life. 16 today - with all of the rites of passage that come with that: dating, driving, getting a job. And before I know it, 2 1/2 years are going to pass, he will graduate high school, and be off on a mission. And all I will be able to do for him is pray.
But as sad as I am, and as much fear as I have with him growing up, I actually feel a little frission of excitement about this stage. I have loved every stage that my kids go through {with the possible exception of 3}, and I have never really longed to go back to the baby stages. I have loved so much watching these little people develop. It really is incredible.
Every now and then, I catch a glimpse of the greatness that is in my son. Beyond the "that's my kid, isn't he great"-ness. But I see moments of the immensity of his spirit. I see glimmerings of depth, and strength, and power. Do not get me wrong, there are plenty of moments where I despair of his survival {and mine}, but... But. Deep down, beyond the fear, I KNOW that he will survive, and he will be a force for good, and one to be reckoned with. And my heart swells.
Happiest of Birthdays, my son. I know the day in and of itself is not being splendidly marked, and that you have to take care of some not fun things, but it's not really about the day anyway. It's about this being the first moments of what is truly the beginning of your "real life". And I am pleased and proud that you are starting it off on the right foot.
I love you ...
mom
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xoxo