The things that are on my mind and in my heart are probably echoes of what is in every mind and heart right now. I felt like the wind was knocked out of me. I can't watch the news or look at the pictures that are being plastered all over Facebook. My sense of security has been shaken. The world has tilted.
Part of me feels like, "how can we be going on with our lives... preparing for Christmas, going to school, watching tv, being online...?" What choice do we have, really? We have to go on. But we will never {hopefully} be quite the same.
Since those events in CT, I have found myself being a lot more patient with my children. Pulling them closer. Being much more aware of how I speak to them in tone and word. And I also find myself feeling almost guilty that it took such a shocking tragedy to make me really stop and make those changes.
And I'm noticing a shift in thinking towards others as well. I am trying to be more open minded. Less judgmental. I am trying to be more mindful of the brokenness that is inside every person.
Another change I have noticed is that along with being calmer with my children, and being less judgmental of others, is that I have felt an even stronger desire to simplify and focus on those things that REALLY matter. Creating moments, yes, but also NOTICING the moments just a little bit more - even in the midst of the crazy of everyday life.
Paying attention to my two youngest who snuggle into me on either side at church or on the couch. Making a mental note when my big 15 year old laughs uncontrollably as I tickle him. Or noting with tenderness a special night out between my struggling daughter and her dad.
I LOVE my life. I do. It's amazing how - when I pay attention to it - it is so full of joy. Am I anxious about Christmas (at least the gift part)? Yes, absolutely. Am I stressed financially? You bet. Is John stretched to his maximum capacity and stressed out of his mind with his many obligations? For sure. {{forgive me Cindy, I just had to laugh, as I remember your Facebook post about questions that the asker answers.... haha}}
But no matter all of those stresses and anxieties, I am so blessed. I have a stunningly wonderful family. I have a comfortable home. My husband has a job. We are all healthy. {knocking on wood as I type all of these things} I have unbelievable friends. And above all, I have an unshaken faith in a loving Heavenly Father and Savior.
I can't give in to the horror. To the stress. To the depression. I won't. I will choose to cling firmly to my faith, and believe that there is still light and hope even in this dark time. I will try to remember the lessons that I have been learning these past few days, and really soak in all of those little tender moments of joy that can get me through the hard things.
What about you? How are you coping with it all?
Part of me feels like, "how can we be going on with our lives... preparing for Christmas, going to school, watching tv, being online...?" What choice do we have, really? We have to go on. But we will never {hopefully} be quite the same.
Since those events in CT, I have found myself being a lot more patient with my children. Pulling them closer. Being much more aware of how I speak to them in tone and word. And I also find myself feeling almost guilty that it took such a shocking tragedy to make me really stop and make those changes.
And I'm noticing a shift in thinking towards others as well. I am trying to be more open minded. Less judgmental. I am trying to be more mindful of the brokenness that is inside every person.
Another change I have noticed is that along with being calmer with my children, and being less judgmental of others, is that I have felt an even stronger desire to simplify and focus on those things that REALLY matter. Creating moments, yes, but also NOTICING the moments just a little bit more - even in the midst of the crazy of everyday life.
Paying attention to my two youngest who snuggle into me on either side at church or on the couch. Making a mental note when my big 15 year old laughs uncontrollably as I tickle him. Or noting with tenderness a special night out between my struggling daughter and her dad.
I LOVE my life. I do. It's amazing how - when I pay attention to it - it is so full of joy. Am I anxious about Christmas (at least the gift part)? Yes, absolutely. Am I stressed financially? You bet. Is John stretched to his maximum capacity and stressed out of his mind with his many obligations? For sure. {{forgive me Cindy, I just had to laugh, as I remember your Facebook post about questions that the asker answers.... haha}}
But no matter all of those stresses and anxieties, I am so blessed. I have a stunningly wonderful family. I have a comfortable home. My husband has a job. We are all healthy. {knocking on wood as I type all of these things} I have unbelievable friends. And above all, I have an unshaken faith in a loving Heavenly Father and Savior.
I can't give in to the horror. To the stress. To the depression. I won't. I will choose to cling firmly to my faith, and believe that there is still light and hope even in this dark time. I will try to remember the lessons that I have been learning these past few days, and really soak in all of those little tender moments of joy that can get me through the hard things.
What about you? How are you coping with it all?
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