I returned it today.
It's amazing what your kids can do to your self confidence.
One raised eyebrow, one half smile, one confused look can completely undo me.
They are just children.
What do they know? For all I know, they were just responding to the fact that it was something different from what I normally wear.
Or I may have just looked like a clown in it.
Regardless. It's back at Old Navy. (clearanced, if you're interested...) I thought it was super cute. Apparently, just not for me though.
Having said that though, how does one break out of a style rut? I have been wearing jeans/tshirts/cardis for.ev.er.
The problem is that when I try something new, I feel like I'm trying too hard. Like I'm trying to be someone or something that I'm not. I recognize that this is all HIGHLY tied into my body image issues, but I don't know how to overcome it.
It's almost like I am punishing myself for not being the size that I think is acceptable. I am withholding love from myself until I "deserve" it by losing weight. It's like I negate every good thing about myself and my life and my abilities simply because I am fat.
How sad.
Yet how true. What in the world have we as women done to ourselves?
Lately, I have been trying to be more conscious as I look at other women of what it is that I find beautiful about them. I am trying to internalize the fact that there is not just one formula out there that equals beauty. I also try to remind myself that no matter how gorgeous I think a woman is, or how thin, or how stylish; that she probably has things about herself that make her self conscious, or things that she dislikes about her appearance. I don't think anyone is completely self-assured and immune from the pressures of our society.
I don't want to pass this legacy of self-hatred to my daughters {or sons}. I want them to accept themselves and love themselves (in a healthy way - not a self-absorbed kind of way).
Not only do I want that for my girls, I want it for myself. I think it would become a self-perpetuating cycle of feeling better, taking better care of myself, to feeling even better....and so on.
So, my goal this month is to stop the negative self-talk when I recognize it creeping up, and replace it with a compliment or recognition of something I like. And I also want to try something new in my wardrobe. I want to spend a day without the kids, and shop - trying on different looks, stepping outside of my little comfort zone. I want to find one piece that "speaks" to me and that I love.
Sorry for the wordy post. Thanks for reading! Share your thoughts on this
Comments
Love ya!
You have a great style. You know what looks good together and even in jeans and a t-shirt, you always add the right touch to not make it look sloppy.
You are fabulous. You were right, we all have insecurities no matter how we look,dress,feel.
You are one of those women I look at and think, "man, she has it all together and looks good too. How does she do it?"
My advice, go back and get the shirt :)
And why do we let our kids affect us so much? I was just thinking the same thing this morning because I feel like I am constantly being questioned by them, but it's just because they want to learn, not because I am doing it wrong.
Sorry maybe this was more than you asked for.
Don't question yourself so much. You are awesome! Just be yourself, and you'll always be amazing!