.....and wiser too??
I don't think so.
To be honest, my birthday was kinda lame. I'm over it now, but for a couple of days there, I was feeling pretty picked on. Mostly because I was feeling like a bit of a failure.
I truly always thought that by the time I was in my mid 30's I would be set. I would be confident in myself and my life...
The truth is, I'm completely faking it.
I feel as lame and awkward as I ever did in high school. I am insecure about my looks, my weight, my talents... I rarely feel like I'm doing my best as a mother. I still struggle with the basics of being a grown up (i.e. budgeting, family prayer and scriptures, consistent rules and consequences for the kids). I don't have a good sense of myself and my style. Short hair? Long hair? Modern/traditional/eclectic/cottage??? Tailored/boho/vintage/lazy?? What or who am I? Why don't I own it?
My desire is to discover who I am. Accept and love my physical being, understand and define my sense of style - and then own it. I can appreciate other styles while being true to myself. But to be true to me, I have to KNOW me. I want to improve those things that can be improved, and let go of the rest. If I want to be a better mother, I must DO what it takes to become that. If having a greater spirit in my family is important, then I must do those things that will allow that to happen.
I must choose to act, and not be acted upon.
This is my privilege. To choose the life I want.
this year, I choose to become me.
Comments
I say make your own mold instead of finding one that fits you. You my dear are such an inspiration in my life and I thank you for being your real you even when it's not lined with glitter and glam.
Moments are what we celebrate and whether we have 2 dozen moments in one day or maybe just 1 in one day - that moment is worth all the times we question ourselves or doubt ourselves.
You are a beautiful woman and I count myself fortunate to call you my good friend.
Love you girl!