Sophie keeps giving everyone grief about not being nice to her for her birthday. Like whiny, can't look at her, give into her every whim grief...
We never should have told her it's her birthday month. It's going to be a looong time to the 28th.
And in a completely unrelated train of thought, thank you all for the kind responses to my last post. I realize it came off as kind of a pity party that I don't think I'm a good mother. And that wasn't REALLY my intention. I think I am a good mom, but I also know that I could be better. Like deep down inside I KNOW that I have been lazy and giving myself every reason in the book why I can't do this or that. {the mess, doing one. more. thing., making it up in other ways...}
In my heart I know that I am capable of much more than I have given/done/been for a while. The other blogs/moms that I talked about in my last post didn't make me feel bad about myself, they just reminded me that there is more to me than this. And while "this" is fine, I do have those yearnings in my heart to become that "more". Not to compete with other moms - other talents, but to complete myself. And no, I don't think that having fancy back to school dinners is necessarily a manifestation of completeness, but it merely represented a quality of grace that I want to develop more in myself.
I think that much of my dissatisfaction in my life {whether it be in my style, my home, my activities} stems from not living up to my potential. I think that anytime we allow ourselves to be less than what we are capable of, our spirit begins to urge us to change. And it is easy {trust me, I've been feeling this for a while} to think that if I just paint my house, I'll feel better. If I just lose the weight, I'll be happy. If I get better clothes, I'll feel better about myself. But they are just empty, temporary fixes. Eventually the spirit intensifies those urges, and the cycle goes on and on.
I know this has become quite a rambling post, but this has REALLY been on my mind for a while, and some of these thoughts were just coming as I was typing, and I just want to leave them and think on them for a while.
So, thank you all again for your kind words and your reassurances. I am truly blessed to have such wonderful and caring friends.
We never should have told her it's her birthday month. It's going to be a looong time to the 28th.
***********
And in a completely unrelated train of thought, thank you all for the kind responses to my last post. I realize it came off as kind of a pity party that I don't think I'm a good mother. And that wasn't REALLY my intention. I think I am a good mom, but I also know that I could be better. Like deep down inside I KNOW that I have been lazy and giving myself every reason in the book why I can't do this or that. {the mess, doing one. more. thing., making it up in other ways...}
In my heart I know that I am capable of much more than I have given/done/been for a while. The other blogs/moms that I talked about in my last post didn't make me feel bad about myself, they just reminded me that there is more to me than this. And while "this" is fine, I do have those yearnings in my heart to become that "more". Not to compete with other moms - other talents, but to complete myself. And no, I don't think that having fancy back to school dinners is necessarily a manifestation of completeness, but it merely represented a quality of grace that I want to develop more in myself.
I think that much of my dissatisfaction in my life {whether it be in my style, my home, my activities} stems from not living up to my potential. I think that anytime we allow ourselves to be less than what we are capable of, our spirit begins to urge us to change. And it is easy {trust me, I've been feeling this for a while} to think that if I just paint my house, I'll feel better. If I just lose the weight, I'll be happy. If I get better clothes, I'll feel better about myself. But they are just empty, temporary fixes. Eventually the spirit intensifies those urges, and the cycle goes on and on.
I know this has become quite a rambling post, but this has REALLY been on my mind for a while, and some of these thoughts were just coming as I was typing, and I just want to leave them and think on them for a while.
So, thank you all again for your kind words and your reassurances. I am truly blessed to have such wonderful and caring friends.
Comments
You are inspiring, you know.. You have a way of bringing things into a clearer perspective and a tie to our Heavenly Father's love for you that is endearing.
Thanks!
On the other note- blossom, become, grow- I can't wait to see what evolves.