Fear and Frumpiness

I saw a picture taken of me over easter weekend, and oh my goodness, it was quite a wake-up call. I think I have been fooling myself, and convincing myself that "it's not that bad". Well folks, it IS that bad.

I was already having a rough day regarding this exact thing, but then

I went to this site via another blog, and I have to tell you,



It didn't help.

I am a frump.

I want to be stylish, chic, individual.

I am none of those things. I am safe, boring and "mommy" in my attire.

Oh, occasionally I manage to throw in a fab accessory, but mostly, I am just jeans and t-shirt. And not great designer jeans or funky-fun t-shirt. Oh no. Old Navy jeans and Target t-shirts.

This is my new quest. To become the me I want to be. To develop the confidence to carry off the hip styles. To throw off my mom uniform and become "that mom" who is pulled together.

I know. It's just clothes. What does it really matter? Does it really matter?? I think that my clothes have become a reflection of how I feel about myself. I hate my body, so therefore I want to hide, so if I wear non-style clothing, no one will notice me. But these clothes only perpetuate the negative body image because they are NOT flattering. Whatever.

John and I watched "Yes Man" last night. Funny, yes. But it really made me think about what I have been saying no to in my life because of fear. Writing. Learning new skills. Making commitments (to myself mostly - i.e. weight related). Finding my individual style and embracing it regardless of what the "in" things are. Painting my upstairs the fun blue/green color that I still love. I have missed out on all of these things because of fear.


I don't want to be afraid anymore. I want to take risks. Even if they are just fashion/style risks. Nothing major. I just want to get past the safety of my t-shirts. So how does one overcome the fear and make change happen?

*and as far as the paint color goes, i think i'm going to do it. soon.