Normal

Over the past few days I have been feeling pretty emotional about something, and yesterday kind of brought it to a head for me.

Many of you know that my Max had many congenital defects that required multiple surgeries when he was a baby. None of them were life-threatening, but just needed some correction. We got through that. Fine. No problem.

As he has grown up, he has been much slower to reach certain developmental milestones than my other kids were (& are). Within "normal" range, but on the later end of normal.

Yesterday, I talked to the resource department at the school because they've been doing some testing that is required before he can be tested for CAPD (central auditory processing disorder), and it came up that his IQ is normal - but again on the lower end of normal. So, they say the gaps in IQ and academic performance are not THAT big. I'm not sure if that means based on his grade - or based on his age. Regardless. That isn't really the point of my post. I'll get to that in a minute.

Earlier this week, I watched an episode of Parenthood on TV. One of the couples in the show were told that their son (named Max, coincidentally) has Asbergers. (sorry if i misspelled.) I cried and cried as I watched the portrayal of this little boy and how he was treated by his peers, and how he was just a little different from the people around him. I can't even express in writing how heartwrenching it was to watch. And I know it's just a tv show, but ...

I have a friend whose son has Asbergers. I have other friends who have watched their children just "not quite fit in". And I have a son who is not quite the same as his peers. I have felt protective and defensive about those little quirks that set him apart just a bit.

And I worry.

Why?? Why do I worry so much about the fact that he is not cookie-cutter kid? So he has academic struggles. So some concepts are difficult for him to master. So it is going to take a modified teaching style for him to grasp certain things.

So what?

My new goal is not to make Max fit the same mold as everyone else. My new goals are to celebrate his strengths, help him overcome whatever struggles we can, and to rejoice in all of those things that make him my Max.


Max rocks at basketball. He is amazing at computer & video games. He is a good reader. He is the sweetest and most innocent boy I know. He adores his dad, and loves to snuggle with me. He looks up to his brother, and giggles with his sisters. He is a good, good boy who reminds me every night to read a scripture with him. He loves to make people around him happy. And most of all, he just loves to be loved.


I am so grateful for the chance that I have to be reminded that we don't all have to be "normal" to be amazing.